Ugh, there is this light, out of control, falling down a tunnel kind of feeling that I get in my chest right before I do something stupid on the internet. Very occasionally I can stop myself, but that’s rare. I read something, I react, I login, I start typing, I type faster, I delete a sentence, I move something and create a typo that I never see again in my fury and haste, and then I post. Then I spend the next day or night being embarrassed. The next-next day or night I either delete it, edit it, or see that the reaction was positive or nonexistent. Rinse, repeat. I never learn anything.
So that just happened. I should not even go places like DeadPointMagazine. I know there’s nothing there for me but hate fodder. Fortunately I find most of their stuff pretty mundane or incomprehensible, so I get out without leaving a trail of destruction. Not today though. I even got a login, that my closest friends would know me by.
The article I read was about how these 2 girls did these hard climbs and people on the internet said they were invalid. But the article was written as if the fact they were both women was, like, irrelevant. So, god love me, I logged in and wrote this:
Oh well. Am I a total idiot? If you think I am, do not answer that. I should really probably get sendaustin back, as it was a more contained receptacle for this kind of thinking. But I got rid of it, because I sense a coming backlash against all things perceived as critical, dis-spirited, and anonymous. Even though SA is a practice in a comedic persona, it’s not worth the hateful email or attention.