this means it's about 7:20
got to hang pretty things around the trailer. to give the place "atmosphere"
the frecklage is out of control
the very best parts of 2011 January 1, 2012
NYE lobsters at my parent's house. pardy hardy!
Yay new year! I realized recently that even though the pervading wisdom of the world is that you are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did that went awry, I am an exception. I do almost everything I can think of, and there are a handful of them that have turned out terribly and that I mortally regret. Yeah, life is lovely and the mistakes of the past are but part of the foundation of what is working today, but I have wasted countless hours on fruitless painful activities, been impulsive and cruel in instances where it was not necessary and I knew it, and willfully ignored the obvious. And it’s not like ‘oh if only I knew then what I know now’. Because I knew all along. It’s more like, ‘oh if only I’d had the discipline to do what I knew was the right thing to do when I knew it, which was when it mattered.’
And this was suppose to be a happy post about my goals for the new year and accomplishments of 2011, yet somehow it fell apart around word 3….
But I have made some adjustments to my approach this year that will, hopefully, prevent some future regrets. And those adjustments have been some of my favorite 2011 experiences. Here’s them:
1. Working with Lauren at the Feminine Rhythm. Her work teaching the Art of Feminine Presence has taken a HUGE weight off of me in more ways than I can describe. If you haven’t tried her class, or one like it with the Yin Project, I recommend it. Like I was saying to some dudes in her yard after my last class – “Lauren teaches you to hit the road to your dreams, have amazing boyfriends, and be better at life.” Probably all the other things I love about 2011 have come as a result of working with her.
2. The Flagstaff vision quest. I wrote about it here. Terry says a vision quest is like an full body physical for your spirit. I hope that doesn’t mean I have to do another one this year because it was misery. But I’ve been able to tap into a certain feeling I had at the end of it a number of times since, and I’ve found a lot of calm and confidence in it. I’ve never picked back up the feelings of shame, loneliness and totally freaked out horror that washed over me over those days, and that had obviously been looming inside for who knows how long. It was a game changer, for the insides.
3. My special photo session. Back in the spring I convinced Erik to come over to Rebecca’s house and take gorgeous photos of me. I’d never done anything like that before, but I’ve heard about it quite a bit, as a thing that women do sometimes. Just planning the shoot was a blast, developing my sexiness aesthetic, choosing what to wear, my inspirations, talking with him about what would be the most flattering and interesting. Doing it was incredible and challenging, letting him kind of direct and help me relax and get my face right. I wish we’d had twice as much time (and light!). Since then, looking at the photos and showing them to friends has been a third level of amazing. I showed my favorites to a few friends, but I showed all of them to Jennie. When I pointed out the one’s I didn’t like as much she was surprised. I just didn’t think they looked much like me. She said no, those look the most like you. Freaky! I’m slowly planning another session, all outside this time.
4. Comprehensive Pilates teacher training. Holy cow. This work changed the way I think about training, movement and climbing. I’ve been climbing outside full time all year without significant pain and haven’t acquired any new tweaks. My elbows and wrists feel better than they have since before I started climbing, although I still complain. I fully credit my daily 25 minute mat routine. I only wish I had more opportunities to teach formally. I suppose there is plenty of time for that. For now, come practice with me all month long in February, 9ish on the back patio of the ranch! Unless I’m on an early tour :=P.
5. I started dating. This year has brought me the most romantic experiences of my life. I’ve had lovely boyfriends and an amazing husband in the past, but guys this year have been nicer to me than anyone ever has before. And it’s not that my taste has changed or I’m encountering some different breed of dude (I am not). I think it’s because I’m learning, finally, to just take it – to accept the guyish niceness that comes to me. That sounds strange. I suppose I’m coming around to embrace how much I need and want a man in my life, and getting cool with that has helped me shut up and go with the good stuff as it comes, instead of constantly doubting and questioning myself and everyone else. It’s not always so sunny, and I’ve certainly cried a bucket this year as well, but I feel better (as in more effectively) and it seems like I’m able to make better choices faster.
And that’s what I was talking about earlier. I’ve made very regretful choices before, based on what I thought was the right way to be feeling and the right thing to be wanting, rather than what I actually was feeling and wanting. And out of fear of being too weak to make it, or becoming a bag woman, or one of those people brought to ruin by a charismatic druggie lover who sells the trailer out from under them to settle a gambling debt then they end up with a mugshot on Gawker as the loser of the week. Although a good friend of mine had a baby with that very guy a few years ago, and he cleaned up and things have turned out quite well for them, so I suppose time and love sometimes heal, which will be a comforting thought should those fears come to be. So I don’t worry about them anymore.
I’m definitely not getting any nicer, but I’ll be a bit smarter going into 2012, which is more important to me anyway.
Oh, goals! Here’s what I can think of: Climb on the road for another year. Make more/better money than I did in 2011. Go to South Africa. Do another comp circuit. Sport climb for 2 months. Take Yin Project teacher training. Trad climb for a week. Eat organic and don’t gossip. Blog regularly and take more and better pictures. Try to find a prepaid android mobile program.
there’s a will May 26, 2011
Will Rosshirt is my super dependable rides to-and-from the airport friend. He’s also always good for tools and random garagy materials. I don’t remember what he did to deserve this toil, but everytime I need to go to or from the airport, I can ask my closest friends, fake boyfriends, family, but it almost always comes down to Will Rosshirt. It’s a nice chance to peek into his life, and he’s always got something going on. Will is also a pretty amazing painter. Look at this shot Erik took of him recently with one of his pieces — he has a whole series of these large scale, weird curtain looking canvases with…is that like, plants?
by erik
Here’s one he did based on a photo Merrickales took. I LOVE this.
Seriously, right? You can peep his work and browse prints here.
vocalage April 19, 2011
A few weeks ago I lost my voice like I never have before. Like, open my mouth to put forth words and — gahhsweeeh, nothing. I blame a combination of oak trees, constant gymnastic teaching, and a looong Pilates teacher training weekend where I intoned and lilted and projected constantly for four days.
Eventually I found a raspy super-whisper I could use for basic communication, and I’m still not fully recovered. It’s been interesting to have a totally different sound coming out of my mouth all the sudden. I started hearing everything as if I were listening to someone else. Luckily I liked the person I heard, for the most part ;=). It forced me to choose my words with freakish care, and I like to think I learned something about doing more with less, verbiage-wise.
Now I can talk with almost my full range, but it’s uncomfortable to project, and I spend all day sounding like I just got out of bed. Merrick said my new voice changed my personality, and made me seem (or be?) more sensitive and gentle. Then Gus pointed out that every time I spoke I sounded like I was on the brink of tears, which made him laugh. But both remarks hit home. Because come to mention it, between constant Pilates training sinking into my muscles changing the way I move, and this feminine meditation and spirituality course I’ve been working with changing my personal growth goals, I feel a bit different too.
pretty flowers
John Gill, here here! March 27, 2011
John Gill explains his early philosophy of boul…, posted with vodpod
coolness March 22, 2011
The weekend looked way up after my sick day. I ran out last minute to see my favorite band, Screeching Weasel, perform at the Scoot Inn for sxsw. It seemed weird when Merrick texted me that they were playing. They are NOT a very sxsw-y kind of group, being old, cult, and despising everything that…well just pretty much everything. I’m so glad I went though. I absolutely love that band. The singer whined the whole time about what a racket SXSW is, and how it’s just a big spring break clustercuss of self-proclaimed tastemakers and cocaine folk going to “showcases” for labels or cool crowd free shows for cool crowds. I kind of hate sxsw too, and I never stay in town for it. But last year I had a little bit of fun at the end, and I’m glad I made it back again. Merrick got annoyed at the band and left early, since the singer told all the media asshats they had to stand in the crowd if they wanted to take pictures. He thought it was rude. I was like, dude, what show are we at right now? I loved every minute of it, even when the singer punched two women and was dragged off the stage. They played were on stage for almost a full hour (long for a showcase I think), and I got to dance and sing and pump my fist and get knocked in the nose by an elbow then go home psyched and reeking of show. Pop punk is the best when it’s too pop for punks, and too punk for pop. I kinda think there’s a spot in that continuum that’s perfect for me and SW just nails it.
The next night I tried to go to the Saylorking’s hyde park backyard Appalacian roots music party for a change of pace, but I either got lost or missed it, cause it didn’t pan out and I wound up running around with Rebecca and company in a bars and downtown and artsyness circuit. Good times.
But the best best best part of the whole weekend was when Jeremy from Hattisburg came through town on his way home from Hueco. He and his beautiful girlfriend Alex came to a bbq at the Thornton’s, then a perfect evening session at McKinney (where I got a a high point on BOTH el camino left and QJ (foot move only)) topped by a steaming plate of enchiladas.
Got a new phone that takes weird, hard to see pictures. This is Jeremy.
This is alex, also of Hattisburg. She's just getting into climbing and when I asked how she liked being on a bouldering trip she was like, "I'm not used to all the ... hiking"
and Blaine was there! I haven't seen him in many months and it was so good to climb out there together. idk why I'm always asking blaine to do silly things for pictures. He just does them so well I guess.
So kind of a perfect day. Jeremy is, for me, a lot like Texas Steve from Eat, Pray, Love, the guy at the ashram in India who gives a lot of salt-o-the-earth spiritual guidance and long-haul perspective.
His perspective and encouraging, sane words have stuck with me since we met in Mallorca, and I got to re-up on their visit.
I am so psyched on MK right now. Gonna rest all week then go out with several pads on a cloudy evening and try to send some projects before the heat truly sets in and I skip town.
hip hip array! March 14, 2011
New header array yay! I’m proud that I’ve been doing this blog long enough (and with consistency/intensity) for the header pictures to feel, I don’t know, sort of ‘last year.’ Hope you like the new spread! The shots are, in clockwise direction starting from the upper left, by: TV, me, me, Sam Davis, Thomasina, Jeremy Thomly, GMFB, and Ari Oppenheimer. The vector graphics are by people at MOO, the cupid is from Veer.com, and the boat wallpaper is stolen off of Design Sponge.
The old array is in the vANNity section, if you wanna see that awesome mustache picture some more. Wish I had another one of those.
seven thousand words for ‘oof’ February 6, 2011
Ok a few more pictures from Kauai, then I’ll let it go for a while. It’s been nice to be home and get down to busy/i-ness, but I mainly wander around thinking about Hawaii.
paddling out in Hanalei bay, pic by mom
pretty blue roxy styled board
mom y papa!
so intense
marty on the shore (and wow)
in my natural state
